I really notice a difference when I stop blogging. I become less aware and am more likely to get down on myself. Despite my successes.
I’m sitting on the subway for the first time in about a year and a half. I’m spilling over into the other seat and the poor guy next to me has to sit scorched at the end of the seat so we aren’t all squashed. At least in not in the middle. Still, makes me feel like I’ve failed.
But wait! I’ve already done something good today! I did a little bit of exercise! It was only about 5min, and just a few situps pushups and stretches, but more than I’ve done in a long time.
After reading @fit_vs_fiction ‘s post about the gym, I realized I have to start thinking about exercise differently. Or rather I have to find a way past the stigma society, and my family have put on exercise as a means to lose weight. It’s the same stuff as with the food. I do WANT to exercise. But when it seems like work, or like I’m burning off calories, it seems to be the same sort of feelings I get when I get the ‘diet mentality’
As I started counting the number of situps I was doing I came to a decision. I’m not going to COUNT! Who cares if it’s 10 or 15? I’m just going to do them until I feel like ive done enough. And that way, (just like eating) ill be listening to my body to decide if it feels like its ready to stop.
Who cares if it’s 10 minutes or 30 that I’ve walked? At least I walked! I don’t need to track the time. Because somewhere in my head there is a magic number (that keeps changing) that I’ll never reach. So. I’ll just do what my body wants to do and be happy that I’m doing something good that makes me FEEL good.