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Blog Archives

The Fridge Door

I open the fridge door. I look inside. I see the cheese. I just want to take the whole brick and eat it. I want to eat the left over chicken. The pasta. The chips in the cupboard. The chocolates on the counter, and the rest that are hidden. I want to drink till I …
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So what about Meds?

My therapist seems to think I’m managing well.  I’ve been making some decisions, or rather they were kind of made for me. I’m still stressed out.  I’m nervous at what is coming.  I am usually excited about change and whatever is new on the horizon, but this time I’m scared.I’m worried I won’t be able …
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Why does it always feel like everything happens at once

It’s been a fucking roller coaster the past week. I don’t know how I managed to survive it really. Maybe because the ride is still moving. All I really want to do is eat. I just want to go to the store and buy three bags of chips and sit on my couch and eat …
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Where did my happy go?

I’m not happy. And there are many reasons…I think. Or maybe there are none. I don’t konw. But I do know one thing. I lost my happy somewhere along the way. I was driving on Friday. A song came on and I cried. It was ‘You Shook Me all night long..” That used to be …
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I’m doing okay

I’m not being perfect with food… but I’m better. It was my birthday last week. And I think it’s the best one I’ve had in a long time. Everyone really made me feel special. Or maybe I let myself let them make me feel special.Does that make sense? The “Twitershpere” is an amazing place. I …
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I need to be more mindful

I’m not being mindful. I’m falling back to using food. I need to write more but don’t seem to have the time. I think things are slowly coming together, but my life is still far from being manageable. I need to seriously evaluate how I handle the relationships in my life. I feel like a …
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a;osin

This nervous twitch is getting worse.  My title to this post is indicative of that.  I didn’t know what title to give this post, and I just spazzed, and that’s what came out…along with me turning on some other weird screen. So that’s what will stay. I see the doctor in an hour.  I don’t …
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Random Rant

I’m starting to cringe at things.  You probably wouldn’t notice if you were around me.  And I’m finding there is a lot of stuff setting me off.  It’s becoming impossible to live in my house..even though I”ve hired a housekeeper. What’s the point in spending the money when the house is a disaster again within 12 …
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I can’t handle this

I had a break down on Thursday. I was having a pretty good week. Just came back from a group therapy session that went well. I felt like I was getting a good grasp of this Intuitive Eating thing. And I am. It’s a success, I know. But I can’t handle everything else. I’ve been …
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Juggling

I can’t hold all these balls in the air. They are going to come crashing down any second. I’m only me.  Me used to be able to handle all the balls. But today, I can’t. I don’t want to.  I feel my inner child rebelling. I don’t want to feel what I feel.  I want …
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