Can my life get any more dramatic…I suppose it could, but sheesh, test my patience…it was a roller-coaster weekend with ‘friend’ issues…
I’ve come to understand that I’m a ‘superfeeler’and how that affects my eating. I think.
A couple situations happened this weekend that ‘shouldn’t’ have gotten me as agitated as they did. But they did.
Friday night was awesome…I had a great time, it was a great bunch of people, and I really needed it…a lot of fun! But the rest of my weekend felt like a bit of a mess.
I feel like my emotions are on hyper-drive…and I think that they shouldn’t be, so that makes me even more emotional..but I thought about it in the car on the way to work today…so what?..that’s how I am.
I am a ‘superfeeler’. Yes, I like that term better than ‘overly emotional’. I don’t just get mildly annoyed at something. I get super upset and really damn annoyed. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing when it’s a ‘positive’ emotion like loving someone, or caring about someone…I suppose.
I think I am hard on myself up for how I react to stuff because I think I should be reacting differently
So, i’ts okay that this upset me, it’s okay that i feel passionatly about things.
I eat to ‘calm’ the superfeelings I have because to face them is overwhelming.
It’s easier to stick something in your mouth and eat mindlessly.
And then get mad about that instead of facing the unknown emotions…or why exactly you feel the way you do about something.
I swear, the littlest comment can set me off, but i don’t want to deal with figuring out why that comment is setting me off (probably has to deal with mounds of unresolved guilt and unworthiness I feel)
So I go eat chips or a piece of cheese.
It’s the same with exercise….but almost reverse..I have some sort of mental block towards it. It’s easier to sit than walk…walking reminds me of how out of shape I am and how difficult it is to bend down to tie my shoes, and then beat myself up for having gotten to this point
I guess the best thing I can do right now, is at least just acknowledge that it’s okay to feel so strongly about things. I need to let myself feel, and get my husband or friends to talk me down. I don’t have to feel guilty for feeling that way in the first place. Or guilty for needing my friends and family to support me.
Watch out, here I come I’m Super Feeling Woman! Hear me Scream (and cry, and shriek, and laugh)!