This quote is from a comment made by Marci on my first post. And today it’s very fitting for me.
For years I have been avoiding doing things I want to do, or letting others influence my decision for doing or not doing things, so I avoided enjoying the life I wanted to live because I didn’t want to hurt others. It was easier to do what was expected and suffer in silence than it was to speak up. Even though on the outside, I seem like a person who speaks up and stands up all the time. But in my head, I guess I feel that I can only stand up and speak so often, so I leave some things out.
Who wants to be around someone who is constantly needy? I know I don’t and I’ve even ended a good friendship because of that. But I think I’ve been standing up for the wrong things maybe. Or maybe I just gave up on finding a solution to certain situations.
I guess I still have things to figure out. But tonight, is for me and my desire to live life. I’m going out with new friends and I’m going to have a great time!
- I’m not going to feel guilty that my husband has to watch the baby.
- I’m not going to rush home to relieve him of his duties.
- I’m going to try to not assume what others may be thinking of me if I have to get up and walk to the bathroom.
- I’m going to try to believe I look okay. (baby steps..)
- I’m going to order what I really want to eat.
- I’m going to enjoy my meal (hopefully it tastes good too)….and a glass or two (maybe three) of wine.
- I’m going to stop eating when I’m full.
- I’m going to do my best to not think of food, and just enjoy the friends I am with.