Things are good. They are really good. I’ve made necessary changes and distanced myself from the negative influences in my life. It was hard. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But it was necessary and I’m so incredibly grateful for whatever it was (likely my daughter), that gave me the strength to get through this and be the person I am today.
I don’t know that I’m really a different person actually. I feel like I’ve finally come to accept myself as I am. And more importantly, that I’ve accepted that others are the way they are. Their words are not the truth. Just because someone calls you stupid, doesn’t make you stupid.
I’m by no means 100% there with the intuitive eating principles, but I’m perfectly okay with where I am. I’m actually doing really well with listening to my body, eating when I’m hungry and stopping when I’m full. I’m starting to focus more on eating for health and am happy with my slow but steady progress. Sometimes I make excuses, but it’s okay.
I’m much kinder to myself. What a world of difference that makes. I let good things happen to me now instead of questioning why, or do I really deserve it. I don’t over analyze things, and I take things as they come. I hold on to the good and positive and let the negative slide over me. I still get upset, and things bother me. The difference is I’m not letting those things bring me down.
I’m listening. To me and everything around me. I pay attention to my reactions to things. When something upsets me, I ask myself, Why? Am I afraid of something? Do I feel inadequate? Do I need to do something about it? That last one has been key.
Something recently upset me. I found out someone was trying to spread an outright lie about me. I was furious. After checking in with myself a bit (before reacting), I decided it was just something they said to try to upset me. It doesn’t actually affect my life in anyway, so I choose to not respond and let it go. Done.
Same goes with the good things. Just enjoying them for what they are.
With all that said, I recently came across a great Open Letter that I’d like to share/save here.